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Further Phoenix
at Rio's Attic:

Joaquin Phoenix, Leaf Phoenix

Stand By Me

My Own Private Idaho
Rio's Attic: Celebrating the Life and Times of a Dearly Missed River Phoenix
I'm sorry if this ends up being very long,
but I really need somewhere to vent all my
feelings for River, and this is the perfect place.
I chose my icon as a tree because I think it was
a great thing for River to do when he bought lots
of trees with his money so they wouldn't be cut down.

Much like some other fans, I was too young to
know much at the time of River's death.
I was seven going on eight at the time,
and eight years later I am fifteen going on sixteen
and have only recently discovered just how talented
he was and in a short period of time I have become
completely fascinated with him.

I first saw him in "My Own Private Idaho" which
I rented, strangely enough, on Halloween night
eight years after his death. I hired it because
I am a fan of his brother Joaquin and because
I had heard good things about it...
What I felt during and after watching this movie
I cannot explain, but I connected with him
in a way I never thought possible.
The first thought as the movie began was that
he was a lot cuter than I had thought,
but by the end that was the last thing on my mind.
The way he moved, especially towards the end
of the movie, was so like me it was scary,
he really captured everything about the character
just right.

I went on to watch more of his movies such as
"Stand By Me" and will still watch more of them.
It's strange being so infatuated with someone
who has been dead for eight years.
When I think of him, I feel happy because he was
such a gift to me and to the world,
but I feel a deep sadness at the same time.
Because the feelings are lodged so deep inside me,
I cannot physically cry about him, but inside it
just builds up more and more until I can't stand it,
and the only way to release it is to see him again
in his movies or to find out more about him.

Shane I - Auckland, New Zealand
November 13, 2001

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